Rhetorical Rape
Aug. 23rd, 2008 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxgrrlSo, last night while I was supposed to be finishing my art for Burning Man, I made the mistake of looking at Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Discussion Forums, and I get the impression that the music festival is not a safe place? Hypothetically, if I went there, would I likely be attacked? (I haven't had the time to research any of this yet, it's rather distant from my daily life. (And I seriously don't have the time for drama¹.))
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and havingmyone's genitals fondled.
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
pretendto be women, for the purpose of raping them². And that their demand to be treated simple human respect and decency, the same as any ordinary woman, is
male privilege.
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and having
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
raperhetorically, I'm going to call them out on it. I'm not going to passively sit by and take it any more. Put up, or shut up. What the hell was your rape experience like? And how is that the same as whatever petty drama you're upset about? Oh, you never were? Well then kindly shut the fuck up.
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
officialMWMF LiveJournal community, right, right? http://community.livejournal.com/michfest/profile
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-24 05:53 am (UTC)I think the experience and perception of power & powerlessness is heavily at play both on the part of the WMF women and on the part of the trans women who feel slighted by not being invited to join cis women space. Power and powerlessness carry some pretty hefty emotional triggers.
I can conceive of some of the trans women reacting to being not invited as possibly a projected reaction to the other areas in which they have experienced pain. You bring your own experience of this yourself into this post.
I think some of it might come from the legacy of oppression and devaluation of women that cisgendered women experience. I think that some cisgendered women have some of the self-loathing that we are taught as women undervalued in society. They might fear trans women as maybe having something good they'll never have. They have the best of both worlds... they have cool male aspects and they (in their minds) have co-opted female aspects they (in their minds) have chosen to take on.
At the same time, I think a lot of trans women would gladly give up their male aspects and have gone to great lengths to cleanse themselves of any male aspects. Their is self-loathing there too and the feeling as one transwoman friend put as their body being a rotten compromise they neither asked for or want. I can see how this could cause trans women to be angry and hurt by the exclusionary policy of the WMF.
Maybe the trans-women can understand the WMF ciswomen's allergies to any nano-molecule of maleness and wishing to have a short period of respite from that where it is all XX only.
Some food for thought. Let's have love and understanding for dessert and coffee, shall we?.
"Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself." You do realize you are contradicting your argument against Rhetorical rape here.... ?
*Hugs and Love for the Difficult Bits* Lots of good work and expression here. It's good to hear your thoughts when you find time.
I think you're beautiful and a very fascinating woman.