魔法少女プリティジューリャ

I caught a sinus-cold/flu/infection/something; It seems that I only post on LJ when I'm ill. [Probably because it's the only time when I have time.] Well, actually that's not entirely true. Other than a few outings, I've been being a hermit the last few months. I'm just emotionally burnt out, or it's seasonal depression, or (as I believe) hibernation. (Seriously, when the weather is cold, I just want to eat lots of food and sleep.)

Speaking of food. I've been completely vegetarian so far all year¹. Not quite vegan, because I've had eggs twice, and dairy a few times (which I really shouldn't as my body doesn't react to dairy well). Mostly I wanted to see if I could do it, and it's something I've been considering for a long time. My diet was already mostly vegetables anyway for the last few years, so I just stopped eating chicken and fish last month. I've noticed the more raw vegetables I eat, the healthier and more energetic I feel. Aside from this cold/flu/thing I just caught, I've been feeling very physically healthy for the previous month. No so mentally healthy however; I've just really been wanting to be alone for a bit. I need to pull myself and my life back together, figure out who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to do. (And I can't really be myself when other people are around.)

I'm also not flying out to DC for Shmoocon this weekend. The last time I flew with a sinus infection I ended up in the ER with a ruptured sinus cavity. (It was one of those, "Why am I coughing up blood?" situations. Not fun.)

And speaking of conferences. I'm giving a talk at PH-Neutral in May. It'll be something interesting about the PDF format, and the horrible things you can do with it. And I haven't heard back yet to know if I'm speaking at CSW this year or not. (It would be on the [approximately] twelve Acrobat 0-days in the last [approximately] twelve months.) I'll probably drop by the RSA Expo for a day too. If anyone wants free Expo passes I've got a marketing code for one.

(Also for those that know, I've gotten that big financial problem sorted out, and even got a refund.)

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¹ I should go have a steak to celebrate this achievement!

It's always at least a week long ordeal, and I hate it. If you are ill, please do not be offended if I refuse to touch you or go near you. I don't know why my body does this, or how to make it stop, but I never want it to happen again.

I hate laying in bed in the middle of the day, unable to sleep, unable to find a comfortable position because my body aches so bad. It's almost 70°F outside here, and I have the heater on, and I'm dressed, and wrapped up under three layers of blankets, and I'm still freezing. It hurts to swallow, and I'm coughing up little balls of yellow slime.

I hate being unable to think, or to work on anything. I'm falling behind schedule at work, and I have several projects I need to complete soon. If I could sleep, it would be productive for my immune system, but I can't get to sleep.

So, like seriously, if you're sick, stay away from me. Ok?

(And there's never anyone to take care of me when I'm ill. (Except for maradydd, but she's not here now.))

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I wanted to go to Yoga practice tonight, but I've been sneezing all day (with sore throat, simultaneously dry and runny nose, etc.) So, rather than just infecting everyone in the class with whatever virus this is; I nobly stayed home and screwed around on LiveJournal instead… er, I mean I nobly sacrificed my Yoga practice for the health and safety of others.

I was fighting cold off pretty well last week, but then I went skinny dipping with a bunch of bisexual witches, in the redwood forests near Santa Cruz, in the [unseasonably] freezing cold [28°F], this weekend.

But, this reminds me that I haven't written a health update for several months…

My biggest breakthrough was the discovery that they use monochloramine to sterilize the tap water around here. Chloramine binds to hemoglobin, acting like a nitrite to induce methemoglobinemia; Which explains why every time I took a shower, I showed all of the symptoms of Carbon Monoxide poisoning, except that the CO detector never goes off. It kills fish if used in their aquariums, and many zoo animals need it removed from their water… But it's completely safe for humans!

Since moving back to California in 2004, I had noticed that every time I took a shower, I seemed to get sick. Mostly a really fatigued dazed brain-fog, weakness, dizziness, and coughing up clear mucus. Sometimes an, "OMG why can't I stand up!" laying on the floor panting for an hour while my hands and feet turn blue. I went to a few doctors, and they kept telling me that this is "Stress", that I'm stressing about going to work, and that I was hyperventilating (or having panic attacks). Despite the fact that if I didn't take a shower I would feel find, until I did, and would need to lay down, barely able to think. And also, this happens on the weekend, and before things I really really want to do, and I get upset that I can't move my body, to get up, and go do them. Also, that when I travel to other parts of the country, I don't get sick after taking a shower. (And I know several other people around here who have noticed the same things happening with them.)

[Repeat story about switching anti-depressants every month for my stress– none of them worked.]

All of this led me to believe that it was something present in the bathroom shower. My first hypothesis was that it was black mold, or even just mildew, as the first bathroom where I noticed this was covered in it. After practically remodeling two bathrooms in two different apartments, there was still something knocking me out. Of course, no one I told my suspicions to - about sickness related to the shower - took me seriously. I'm just a crazy stressed out woman! (Switching back and forth between male an female presentations, I can tell you for a fact that no one pays any attention to what you say when you're female. [Another rant about that later.])

Then one day, while arguing about ionic compounds or something with Nyah; She made an off hand comment about the chloramine in the tap water here killing fish. I did some research (see above), and some experimentation.

There is a window, in the shower, of my current bathroom, in just the right spot that I can stick my head out of it to take a breath, while in the middle of showering. So that's what I did; And the very first time I took a shower, and inhaled none of the fumes [steam] from the shower, I felt great afterwards. None of the common dizzy weakness I had suffered almost every day for two years.

So, this is how I've been showering since October — sticking my head out the window, and then holding my breath. My hit-points have been steadily going back up, and I've been putting my life back together, now that I don't feel deathly ill all the time. If I accidentally inhale too much steam from the shower, or one of my roommates takes a shower, and fills the house with deadly shower gases, the weak-tired-dizzy-panting-for-air symptoms return. (I really need to install a filter on the water line here.)

Oh, and to all those people who told me that I was a hypochondriac: fuck you.