Poly Musings

[foxgrrl]

[I don't have a lot of time, so I'll keep this brief.]

Recently, several friends of mine [probably reading this now], and I, have been trying to figure out if we are officially dating or not. I'm currently in a relationship with Nyah [whimsywanderer], and I don't want to leave her, but society has taught me from birth to be insanely devoted to your only partner. And that cheating on your partner is the more horribly unimaginable crime ever — grounds for murder and divorce. Some of the other people involved are also in their own open/poly relationships, so it's ok for them to date me… But I still fear that I'm comiting some horrible crime against their other partners.

Comments

[solarbird]

If it's not against the rules, how can it be cheating?
dingdingdingdingWINNAH

For those who are new to this sort of thing or are just not very good at it yet, there are some obvious rules, like 1. Never lie. And also, 2. Never lie. And oh yeah, 3. Never lie. And "not lying" includes "not hiding things, either." Positive reassurance from the other people involved in whatever relationship graph might be created is also very helpful. Also is reassurance to your other partners that you aren't going away. So that means, yeah, you should get to know and hopefully like the other people involved indirectly, too, and you're gonna talk about all this probably a lot.

So. There. Relax. Don't compress feelings (good _and_ bad) and try to keep a rational bead on top of everything, if that makes any sense to you. Then? Fun and healthful! Recommended. But only if you can do all of these things.