Rhetorical Rape
Aug. 23rd, 2008 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxgrrlSo, last night while I was supposed to be finishing my art for Burning Man, I made the mistake of looking at Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Discussion Forums, and I get the impression that the music festival is not a safe place? Hypothetically, if I went there, would I likely be attacked? (I haven't had the time to research any of this yet, it's rather distant from my daily life. (And I seriously don't have the time for drama¹.))
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and havingmyone's genitals fondled.
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
pretendto be women, for the purpose of raping them². And that their demand to be treated simple human respect and decency, the same as any ordinary woman, is
male privilege.
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and having
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
raperhetorically, I'm going to call them out on it. I'm not going to passively sit by and take it any more. Put up, or shut up. What the hell was your rape experience like? And how is that the same as whatever petty drama you're upset about? Oh, you never were? Well then kindly shut the fuck up.
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
officialMWMF LiveJournal community, right, right? http://community.livejournal.com/michfest/profile
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-30 01:23 am (UTC)The point I was trying to make about the Insta-Conflict stuff is that often trans women use dressing up in traditionally conceived feminine costume is that they are using that to portray femininity or femaleness. I think MWF women would be put off by that as the feminist movement has been working to show that women are more than their outward appearance. That was my point there. It's as if women are relegated to just their outward appearance.... their shape and the people pleasing accoutrements we are expected to wear. People who use those tools to gain power or appear feminine appear noxious to some strains of feminist.... be they cis or trans women.
A prime example might be the Hooters women. (or Hooters Girls as they are commonly called) They make me ill. It's like they are undoing a lot of women are more than T&A stuff that feminist have fought hard to accomplish. They are "Uncle Toms" in my perception.
3) I am not justifying anything. I presented some theories on what some of the players motivations or thought process might be. I do believe that people should be able to create and define spaces as they choose. I do justify that. However, I'm not justifying acting wrong because one has been wronged. I was presenting the ideas that that is what a lot of people who've been wronged do. People who've been wronged or abused or raped often have triggers to stimuli which resemble the stimuli that hurt them. Maybe it is easier for some of the MWF women to pick on transwomen because they are women.... and not men... because they are part of a minority and marginalized group. They make for easier less empowered targets... That happens in other marginalized and oppressed groups. For example, African American women have taken a lot of abuse due to the pent up aggressions of societally disempowered African-American men. That's one social science theory. Certainly I'm not justifying it. I'm pointing out some of the manifestations of human nature. As i did in my previous posting.
Do you think it's a coincidence that so many people in prison come from abusive backgrounds? If not, then why aren't there more happy childhooded adults on death row?
Not everyone who has been abused becomes an abuser or criminal. No. I too have not become an abuser or criminal. I do have my triggers though. I do know that when circumstances approach resemblance of what has hurt me I do feel pain. I feel that pain because of the neural connections that were formed from the abuse. I know both types of folks. Those who've had it rough and not turned to doing bad stuff. I know folks who've had it rough and turned to roughing up others. Not everyone has the same strength or personal make up that leads them to the right choices. Not everyone has the same environmental factors to help them or worsen them along.
I'm not excusing anyone's behavior. I've been providing my opinions on what some of the thought processes might be. I have some knowledge of some of the dynamics on a macro scale as I used to work as a rape crisis counselor. Also, I've studied feminist studies and have been an active member of the feminist movement for 20 years. I've met a few folks, read a few things.... I stand by theorizing on the potential thought processes at hand.
I stand by the constitutional right of assembly.