Rhetorical Rape
Aug. 23rd, 2008 06:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
foxgrrlSo, last night while I was supposed to be finishing my art for Burning Man, I made the mistake of looking at Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Discussion Forums, and I get the impression that the music festival is not a safe place? Hypothetically, if I went there, would I likely be attacked? (I haven't had the time to research any of this yet, it's rather distant from my daily life. (And I seriously don't have the time for drama¹.))
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and havingmyone's genitals fondled.
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
But anyway, the reason why I'm writing this, is because I could not let an oft repeated statement go unchallenged. There is a common accusation that male to female transsexuals [MTFs] are men, who devote many painful years of their lives, to
pretendto be women, for the purpose of raping them². And that their demand to be treated simple human respect and decency, the same as any ordinary woman, is
male privilege.
As an actual, for-reals, victim of sexual assault, I find these accusations of rape highly offensive. Especially coming from people who have never experienced this. Attending a Womyn's Music Festival, just like any other woman, is not the same as someone [a man] holding you on the ground with a knife at your throat, and sticking their tongue in your mouth³. [And something else I've gotten:] Taking someone's photo, in public, without their permission is not the same as rape. It's not the same as being backed into a corner as a child and having
As a transsexual, I have been turned down for work; denied housing, twice!; denied medical care; denied government ID; lost friends (but not any more family than what I had already lost before); etc. all explicitly because I'm trans. (I know it's for that reason, because that's what the people doing it are telling me when they do it. It's perfectly legal to do, so why cover it up?)
As a woman, I also get people completely ignoring anything I say, or invalidating it, not believing that I can lift heavy objects, or take care of myself, or actually be skilled at anything technical, and staring at my breasts while they talk to me.
I can't even kiss someone I love, without the animal part of my hindbrain wanting to run away or attack. I have to fight myself to not disassociate when being intimate with someone. And I hate it. [Note that if you're one of the people I'm intimate with, and you didn't know, don't do anything different just because I've said this now.]
The next time I see someone accusing myself or someone else of
raperhetorically, I'm going to call them out on it. I'm not going to passively sit by and take it any more. Put up, or shut up. What the hell was your rape experience like? And how is that the same as whatever petty drama you're upset about? Oh, you never were? Well then kindly shut the fuck up.
Really, all this accusation of rape is, is verbal bludgeon for attacking and gaining power over people, in a sense… a form of rape itself.
P.S. You know, I don't even identify as trans most of the time. I've mostly forgotten about it (except when I use the bathroom), the only time people identify me as trans, is when they're using it as a weapon against me.
P.P.S. This can not seriously be the
officialMWMF LiveJournal community, right, right? http://community.livejournal.com/michfest/profile
¹ What with working twice as hard as a man, for half the credit, because I'm a woman.
² I know this strikes most of you as being absurd, and it certainly strikes me as absurd, but there are people who very seriously believe this, which I still find hard to believe.
³ No, I don't want to talk about it, you may notice however that I'm still alive.
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Re: I think trans women do have a very different life experience
Date: 2008-08-29 10:37 pm (UTC)Re: I think trans women do have a very different life experience
Date: 2008-08-30 01:31 am (UTC)If this were a school, a government thing, a law or something of that nature I'd be against the limits they impose. However, as this is a social space I do believe they have the right to create it and define it as they see fit. I don't think there is anything wrong with calling them to the carpet. I think people should speak their mind. I think speaking one's mind is different than disallowing people to define and assemble in social space. They're calling it the same thing they've been calling it for years. They're calling it as they who create it see fit. They shouldn't have to specify down to chromosomes or parts of stages of post-op surgery or hormone levels or intersexed conditions in their title... They are perfectly allowed to be dead wrong in their title. It's theirs.
What if a group of trans women wanted to have a festival and not call it "Transwomen Festival" what if they wanted to call it a women's festival because they want to embrace their womanhood and see the trans part as just a bi-product of wrong birthbody. Should they not be able to do it? Should they not be able to gather by themselves and not have cis women there. Should they have to define it all out in a 47 word title. Or is it ok if they put their specifications that ciswomen are not allowed. Don't you think transwomen might have some very valid reasons for wanting a festival of their own? Shouldn't they be allowed to celebrate or manifest their own beauty and experience as they see fit?
Who decides who gets to gather anyway? Should it be a law?
If trans & cis women want to have a festival where they both attend then they should create one themselves instead of trying to force the MWF people to let them in theirs.
Personally a trans cis woman fest sounds like a helluva lot more fun to me than the MWF....