"So this is it. We're going to die."

[foxgrrl]

At one point in the last several days, I found myself in a situation where I said to myself: Oh shit! So this is it, this is how I die&hellip […] (Oh, I'm still alive.) In hindsight I wasn't really in any danger. Whenever I have one of these experiences, it really reminds me of just how much I really love being alive despite all the pain. That, and I really feel like I'm not done yet. There's something I'm supposed to be doing on this Earth — I don't know what it is, so I could be doing it right now for all I know.

After the previous time this happened to me (a few months ago), I wrote the following farewell to a friend:

This is Julia. I want you to know that life is a gift, and you should cherish every beautiful moment of it. Be Well.

Another thing that I have observed about myself in these moments, is the entire rest of my brain/mind very rapidly formulating survival plans, to immediately get out of the situation. It's almost like an automatic reflex.

If you've ever found yourself in one of these situations where you've thought to yourself that you were going to die. What were the last thoughts which ran through your head?

Comments

[sasya-fox.livejournal.com]

"Aw, shit..." .. about this time last year, as I crashed my motorcycle on Highway 101 in rush hour traffic near the airport. :p There were a bunch of tactical reflexes, but they didn't go into the realm of conscious thought.

~Foxy

[sasya-fox.livejournal.com]

(I've also had a couple other moments, and mostly they broke down to, "Well, if this is it, this is it." .. and more than a few hypochondriac moments where I was convinced my death was totally imminent from a stubbed toe or gas, but those were so illogical that despite the emotional distress and anxiety, I intellectually resolved my last thoughts to "Oy, whatever". I hate that.)