"So this is it. We're going to die."

[foxgrrl]

At one point in the last several days, I found myself in a situation where I said to myself: Oh shit! So this is it, this is how I die&hellip […] (Oh, I'm still alive.) In hindsight I wasn't really in any danger. Whenever I have one of these experiences, it really reminds me of just how much I really love being alive despite all the pain. That, and I really feel like I'm not done yet. There's something I'm supposed to be doing on this Earth — I don't know what it is, so I could be doing it right now for all I know.

After the previous time this happened to me (a few months ago), I wrote the following farewell to a friend:

This is Julia. I want you to know that life is a gift, and you should cherish every beautiful moment of it. Be Well.

Another thing that I have observed about myself in these moments, is the entire rest of my brain/mind very rapidly formulating survival plans, to immediately get out of the situation. It's almost like an automatic reflex.

If you've ever found yourself in one of these situations where you've thought to yourself that you were going to die. What were the last thoughts which ran through your head?

Comments

[lupinekassidy.livejournal.com]

Bore some thinking about.
There's been a few times in which I could've been killed in my life, but at the time when it's going down, I've got this *huge* blind spot when it comes to my own mortality- I don't seem to be able to consider that I could die. I've had a few 'oh shit' moments, mind you, and I've had panic points: most notably when I'm riding in a car and I think the driver's on crack or something, but that's just the usual response to a loss of control.

The only situation that comes closest to me is when I was 15, and I popped my moped off the curb and found myself facing a car that had just rounded the corner- and far too close in my opinion. Didn't think at all- I turned the bike, lost control, and rolled away from it when it hit ground. Then I got up, brushed myself off, and limped over to the bike that had slid into the guy's car, which he'd had presence of mind to stop. Do damage to the car or bike, but I spent the next few days unable to use my wrist.

Even today, I'm more likely to react to an imminent demise situation with anger or action than I am to be busy reflecting over it.

Wonder if this helps at all.