"So this is it. We're going to die."

[foxgrrl]

At one point in the last several days, I found myself in a situation where I said to myself: Oh shit! So this is it, this is how I die&hellip […] (Oh, I'm still alive.) In hindsight I wasn't really in any danger. Whenever I have one of these experiences, it really reminds me of just how much I really love being alive despite all the pain. That, and I really feel like I'm not done yet. There's something I'm supposed to be doing on this Earth — I don't know what it is, so I could be doing it right now for all I know.

After the previous time this happened to me (a few months ago), I wrote the following farewell to a friend:

This is Julia. I want you to know that life is a gift, and you should cherish every beautiful moment of it. Be Well.

Another thing that I have observed about myself in these moments, is the entire rest of my brain/mind very rapidly formulating survival plans, to immediately get out of the situation. It's almost like an automatic reflex.

If you've ever found yourself in one of these situations where you've thought to yourself that you were going to die. What were the last thoughts which ran through your head?

Comments

[ilcylic.livejournal.com]

I believe the exact sequence of words that went through my mind was "Oh, fuck. Wait, didn't I just think about this the other week? Ow! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Oh, shit, that was an expensive noise! Damnit, I'm going to get run over! I sure hope no one hits me. I seem to be stopping... Crap! I have to get off the freeway!"

This was as I was crashing my motorcycle on the freeway during rush hour. At least, I'm pretty sure that's the last time I really thought I was going to die.