Put the oxygen mask over your own face first

[foxgrrl]

So lately I've been really depressed, not at this moment as I type, but really, really, I can't go on living like this kinda pain, immobilizing me. It seems to be recurring about every sixty hours, but I can deal with it. What I really, really, hate about it, is that I can't help the people around me deal with their depression — which always seems to happen at the same time as mine.

When I read LJ, I see everyone else posting about the same experiences that I am having, at the same times at which I am having them. When I feel good, everyone else feels good; When I feel bad, everyone else feels bad. This gives the illusion of there being some kind of cause and effect relationship between myself, and everyone I know. That I am somehow responsible for the mood of the whole world.

Then I start to wonder, if I really am the only being in creation, and everyone else is just a reflection of my mind - reflected in a multi-faceted inverted disco mirror ball. Then I start to wonder if I really exist at all, and that my being is the result of the collective thoughts and moods of everyone on Earth.

Are you a figment of my imagination, or am I a figment of yours?

---

Update: Let's make a deal; I'll try to stay happy and energetic, if everyone else tries to stay happy too&hellip Please… for the love of god, be happy!

Comments

[lupinekassidy.livejournal.com]

Think less of the cause and effect of others and you, but more that the shared experiences are the effect of the same cause, possibly undetermined. Just because we can't see the point of origin doesn't mean it doesn't exist. ;)
Besides, I already know that I exist. It's everyone else whom I'm perhaps a touch iffy about, but I like to assume that others exist as well outside of my own frame of reference. It makes for more interesting life than to have the ego that everything that happens is somehow my fault. ;)
Anyways. Been thinking about you! Keep in touch. :)