Paranoia

[foxgrrl]

The morning after I made this post: http://foxgrrl.livejournal.com/50642.html I walked into work — that afternoon actually — and was making random chit-chat with a coworker — flint_otter actually — and he said that he was reading this article on C|Net about how there was some new super-exploit already for the recent Windows vulnerability, and I'm like: Yeah, the MS06-070 one, I just wrote an exploit for it last night. And he's like, No it's something really new as of Tuesday. And I'm like, Yeah, that was MS06-070, unless one of the other ones was horribly exploitable. And he's like, Well, someone just wrote an exploit for it, and it's on the front page of C|Net. And I'm like, Um, I just wrote an exploit for it… And made a mention of it in my blog… Having been around C|Net reporters before, I know that they print a lot of hearsay and rumors from questionable sources. [And as I write this, Nyah keeps trying to tickle me → Just you wait until I write about this in my LJ! I exclaim. It's making it a bit hard to concentrate…]

So, I looked the article up…

http://news.com.com/Experts+raise+Windows+security+alarm/2100-1002_3-6136310.html

Paranoia mounting… Right now, I really don't need nameless cyclopean institutions investigating me… again. Especially, if there's suddenly a huge MS06-070 exploiting-worm outbreak. You know, it looks kinda suspicious, since I told a bunch of people that I write 0-day exploits and internet worms for a living; I might be viewed as a suspect. But I quickly figured out that they were referring to this: http://www.milw0rm.com/exploits/2789 (I still haven't published my MSF3 module anywhere.)

There was a period of time when I wasn't oppressively paranoid all the time, when I wasn't incredibly uptight and stressed out… when I wasn't pretending to be normal. It was right after I transitioned (the first time). In a way, I was really going from one box to another by going stealth - But there was a time in between, when I was outside of the rigid boxes.

Oh yeah, for those of you who didn't know, I'm a MtFtMtWtF transsexual.

What with her being a genderqueer hacker and everything…
or her being a genderqueer lesbian hacker…
or her being a genderqueer lesbian furry hacker…
or her being a genderqueer lesbian pagan furry hacker…
or her being a genderqueer lesbian otherkin pagan furry hacker…
or her being a left-handed genderqueer lesbian otherkin pagan furry hacker…

…life can be pretty difficult on that young lady.

Comments

[proudlyfallen.livejournal.com]

I grew up in Amherst, MA, right smack in the middle of the Pioneer Valley, which I tend to call "Hippie Country". Here, the "norm" is gay pot-smoking neo-pagans. ("I can smell the spirits of the chickens!"-type stuff. And yes, I knew someone who said that. She claimed the warehouse used to hold chickens.) I like girls, and can appreciate their beauty, but due to both religious ideas (man and woman being two halves; yin/yang theory) and personal preference, I eventually came to the conclusion that, no, I really am straight. And then had to take all sorts of shit from kids in my high school because of it. Because being gay is the "cool" thing to do, and obviously I was "intolerant" because I prefer bananas to tacos. (I am not intolerant -- ask any of my transgendered/transsexual friends, or any of my ex-girlfriends -- but in high school, kids don't care about the truth.)