Hypothetical Question

[foxgrrl]

While cocooned inside all of my blankets, delirious with fever, I contemplated how I must appear to an observer in my room. Perhaps as a giant pupa; in the spring, I would emerge from my chrysalis as beautiful butterfly.

Hypothetically¹, if you awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed in your bed into a gigantic insect. Which type of arthropod would you be?

[Poll #1335258]


While Googling for the correct quote, I found this hilarious PDF:

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into an enormous Economic Analyst of Law. He was lying on his back, and when he began to lift himself up he stopped abruptly and considered whether it would be cost‑effective to proceed. […]²

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¹ I assure you, Mr. Samsa, that this question is purely hypothetical.
² Related:
http://anthonydamato.law.northwestern.edu/Word-rec-pubsjan2108/samsa-replies-89.doc http://anthonydamato.law.northwestern.edu/Word-rec-pubsjan2108/Samsa-awoke89.doc http://anthonydamato.law.northwestern.edu/Pages-papers2/samsa-damato-posner.pdf http://anthonydamato.law.northwestern.edu/Adobefiles/A89e-samsa1.pdf

Comments

[anaisdjuna.livejournal.com]

Hee hee. So geeky! Your latin and footnotes ... *flutter*

I might have picked Phasmatoidea (stickbug) so I could sneak around and scare people if they were observant enough or Mantodea (praying mantis) so I can eat my lovers....

[rezendi.livejournal.com]

It is well known that God has an inordinate fondness for beatles.

Beatles

[davidsarah.livejournal.com]

... as opposed to Beatles, who were bigger than God (but apparently all is forgiven).

[foxgrrl]

There were a bunch of others I wanted to put on (like ladybugs), but LJ has a hard limit on the number of questions in a poll.

[adularia.livejournal.com]

That one was pretty easy for me.

[krinndnz.livejournal.com]

The D'Amato spoof is definitely amusing - thanks for the link.


Also, arachnids, but if "Xiphosura ... IN SPACE" were on there, it'd be anyone's game.

[robocoon.livejournal.com]

Not an insect. Malacostraca\Isopoda. :3

Though Xiphosura is definitely a close second.

[foxgrrl]

Yeah, I was going to have that one just for you, but I ran out of space on the poll.

[kitten-goddess.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah!!!! Thank you! You just made my day!!!

[jovino.livejournal.com]

I don't know the reference.... but you haven't had my tacos yet.

[derekcfpegritz.livejournal.com]

Technically, Giger's xenos were not insects. They weren't any form of life we'd recognize as even being alive, since, apparently, they're silicon-based. They're insect-like, but that comparison only goes so far and mostly describes their behavior/eusocial structure rather than their anatomy.

I just want to be a gigantic spider so I can dissolve my victims innards while they're still alive.

[roadknight.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and it's for that very reason that I'd prefer to wake up as a dromaeosaur.
"...the point is, you are still alive as they begin to eat you".

Given the choices though, I chose dragonfly.

[foxgrrl]

Oops, I thought I at least had that. (I unexpectedly hit a 15 item limit on LJ polls.)

[dark-raven-wolf.livejournal.com]

picked Blattaria (Cockroach)since it appeals to my sense of humour to never die, live on junk and run up peoples legs for fun…

My second choice would be the popular on dragonfly

[prickvixen.livejournal.com]

You omitted the Shadows from 'Babylon 5,' and numerous entities from H. P. Lovecraft tales...