The Zapping

[foxgrrl]

Since everyone now knows that I'm trans*, there's really no point in locking these posts anymore. So, now you get to see all of the drama you've been missing.

I went to the dermatologist last night, for another round of hair removal. Supposedly, the amount of pain decreases after the first session…
No, it doesn't.
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep, or my cold returning, but my pain tolerance was lower than I had expected. At the end of the session I had noticed that my eyes had been watering quite unexpectedly. I refused to cry in the doctor's office, and I held my composure (mostly) while driving home.

When I got to my room, I sat on the bed with Nyah, and cried and sobbed for an hour or two as she held me. With the exception of dv_girl, no one had ever been there for me when I was crying. [And then I took a shower and fell asleep.]

There is something about those moments, when crying, that are linked together by their own thread. My mind returns clearly to all of the painful memories that I have blocked out during my normal daily life. Every other event in my life that has brought me to tears, that I thought I had forgotten about.